


Flushed

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Aromantic, Aromantic Dave Strider, Aromantic spectrum, Asexual Character, Asexual Dave Strider, Asexuality, Dave has ADHD, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I promise theres a happy ending, M/M, Unrequited Love, anxiety attack, based on personal experience, dave experiences love for the first time, dave strider has anxiety, dave strider has depression, hes still aro even if he feels attraction to one person!!, i just wanted to write a bit of sad davekat yknow, im sorry the first chapter is sad i promise chapter 2 is better, its implied but not directly stated, karkat has autism, please give them a hug, sigh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25066225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Dave experiences love for the first time in his life and he just doesn't know how to handle it.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40





	1. Anxiety Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave has anxiety and doesn't know how to process his emotions properly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest fic I've ever written and the first directly davekat fic too 😌. I started this at 11 last night n only finished at like 3:30 am so. Ah. Some trigger warnings for this chapter <3
> 
> -anxiety attacks
> 
> -internalised homophobia
> 
> -hinted towards depression but it's not quite directly stated

He was filled with the deep, burning feeling, unlike anything he had felt before. It was strong, and it was heavy and-

-and he hated it.

Dave hated it. He couldn’t handle it. He had no idea what it was but it hurt him so so bad. Some days it felt like he couldn’t even breathe. It was, to say the least, a hell. His stomach would tie up and he felt like vomiting most days and it was his fault. Karkat fucking Vantas. Dave had no idea what was happening but it was his fucking fault. The feeling came whenever he saw the troll, and he couldn’t stop it. It was horrible. He would glare at the troll from across the room, trying to let him know that whatever the fuck was happening to his body right now was his fault. Though Karkat never took notice to that. Or him, for that matter, outside of work. If you could call it that, it was more just waiting until John and Jade got to the meteor, with a few tasks sprinkled in to make it seem like they were being productive. So of course, he kept all of it bottled up. Whatever it was wasn’t important enough for him to care, his friends could be dying, whatever that weird feeling was could wait.

But of course, he couldn’t ignore it. Everyone else took notice of his recent behaviour (except the one person he’d like to, Karkat) but they didn’t seem too worried. Rose would notice his glaring and just laugh and shake her head before talking with Kanaya again. It was infuriating. There was one day that Karkat and Kanaya were talking, Rose just holding onto her girlfriend, that Dave had walked up to them. His original plan was to drag Rose aside and ramble to her, but of course, Karkat got in the way of that. Fucking Karkat. Dave hated him.

“Rose can I-”

“Actually, I believe Karkat had something he wanted to discuss with you, could it wait for another time?” 

That fucking smile. She looked so smug, knew exactly what she was doing. Dave just glared at her. He nodded anyway, too afraid of being rude to deny it.

“Oh. Fine I guess, but if I don’t come back call the uh. Troll FBI or whatever.” 

Rose just rolled her eyes at him as usual,

“Of course.”

“IM NOT GONNA KILL YOU DUMBFUCK. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF FRIENDSHIP? MAYBE I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU DAVE. SHOCKING, I KNOW. I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER.” 

“Whatever you say Karkles. Nobody can resist the Strider Charm. Honestly, I’m shocked it’s only hit you now, I’m a hot piece of ass.”

“PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP. I DONT WANT YOUR ‘HOT PIECE OF ASS’.”

“Sure you don’t Karks. I’m honestly wounded, everyone wants a piece of my ass, don’t lie to yourself.”

“I TAKE IT BACK. ROSE IF HE DOESN’T COME BACK DONT TELL THE ‘FBI’, OR WHATEVER DAVE CALLED IT, THAT IT WAS ME. I DON’T KNOW WHO DAVE STRIDER IS. NEVER MET HIM IN MY LIFE” 

Dave made a little offended noise, and when Karkat turned to look at Rose, she and Kanaya were gone. Shit.

“Guess it’s just you and me Karkitty. Don’t go too crazy, I know I’m hot and all but you’re gonna need to try and resist it.”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP.”

“Ah, why so harsh Karkles? I’m just admitting what you’re too afraid to.”

Karkat rolled his eyes. There was that fucking feeling again. Dave felt like a was going to vomit. Why the hell does Karkat make him want to vomit? Honestly, he’s not that bad looking, and if you get past the constant screaming, he’s not so hard to handle. 

“Yo Karks, I’ve got like, a really important question to ask you. You can’t make fun of me though, okay? 100% serious right now dude. If you laugh at me I might just cry.”

Karkat just stared at him expectantly,

“YEAH OKAY I WON’T LAUGH AT YOU, WHAT IS IT”

“Oh and uh, could you tone down the screaming a little? Kinda hurts my ears and I don’t really wanna deal with that right now, sorry dude.”

Karkat just rolled his eyes and gestured for him to go on. Oh yeah, there was actually something he needed to say. Right.

“Okay, so we’ve been on the meteor for a while, right? Its been almost two years. Or uh, a sweep? Whatever. We’ve been here for a while but recently I’ve been having this horrible feeling in my gut and it seems to be directed at you, so I thought, ‘Oh well maybe since it’s about Karkat he’ll know what to do’ Which I guess in retrospect was probably a bad idea but I’m already here so I can’t exactly back down now can I? The answer is no, by the way, don’t bother answering.”

“Dave. You’re rambling.”

“Oh right, uh fuck, where was I? Oh! Yeah so basically there’s this aching feeling in the pit of my stomach and it’s almost like burning I guess? It makes me wanna vomit and I kinda hate vomit so I’d like that to stop. But it only ever happens when you’re nearby ‘nd stuff like that. It’s weird and I don’t like it. Rose seems to know what’s up but she won’t tell me so uh. Here I am. Diagnose me Dr. Vantas, what’s up with me?”

Karkat just stared at him for a few seconds before letting out a snort, 

“You can’t be serious, can you?”

“Hey, you promised not to make fun of me!”

God, this was not going as planned at all. Karkat was laughing at him he was so stupid he should have never said anything what an idiot. His breathing sped up but he tried to keep up the cool kid act he had going on. It was hard. His sunglasses were starting to fog up, or maybe it was his eyes, and it was making it hard to see. Dave was dizzy. This was one of, if not the worst, decision he’d ever made. Fucking dumbass.

There was a hand on a shoulder. A hard, calloused hand. Karkat’s hand.

“DAVE CALM YOUR FUCKING SHIT OH MY GOG, YOU’RE ACTING LIKE A WRIGGLER.”

That was, apparently, the wrong thing to say. Dave just started hyperventilating and fell to the floor, his back dragging against the wall.

“Fucking idiot. Why the fuck did you think. Oh my god.”

Dave mumbled but they were hardly legible. Karkat panicked.

“DAVE WHAT THE FUCK. CALM DOWN. FUCK WHAT WOULD KANAYA SAY, DAVE BREATH ITS GONNA BE OKAY. IM NOT LAUGHING AT YOU I JUST. IT WAS A LITTLE WEIRD YOU DECIDED TO COME TO ME OF ALL PEOPLE.”

Dave seemed to calm down a bit but it didn’t stop the ongoing panic attack at hand. He covered his ears and shook his head until all the noises stopped. His breathing was a little better, using a little thing Rose told him a while back, he tried to regulate his breathing.

“Loud. Screaming. Don’t, don’t like it.”

He mumbled out, hardly making a sound, but Karkat understood.

“Oh fuck uh, sorry. Sorry. Talk to me Dave, I promise I wasn’t laughing at you.”

Dave was silent for a minute or two before he finally uncovered his ears and mumbled a very small and fragile sounding ‘sorry’.

“I dunno, I’m probably just overreacting, it’s nothing.”

Karkat didn’t want to push him, he looked so stressed already. His hair was a mess and his glasses were sideways on his face and his face itself was so red it could rival his eyes. 

“You weren’t overreacting, it’s okay. I don’t know what’s wrong but do you still want me to tell you what’s going on with that feeling of yours?”

Dave nodded softly, moving his head out from his curled up form to look at Karkat,

“Please,”


	2. Gayest Gays In The Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and Karkat discuss love and future plans.

“So I’ve told you about troll romance before, and from what I’m hearing, you’re going through a similar situation? Do you hate me? Because based on the way you’ve been acting recently we might have a caliginous situation on our hands.”

Dave stared at him for a few seconds, trying to process what Karkat was saying.

“Oh uh, yeah? I mean I don’t hate you I just uh. You made my insides hurt a lot so I guess I just didn’t like you for that? It’s stupid,,”

“It’s not stupid! We’ll just have to figure something else out then. What about pale? It’s a bit of I guess a more platonic soul-mate feeling?”

Dave shook his head and laughed,

“We’re never gonna figure this out. I’m hopeless Karkles, never gonna figure me out.”

“Oh shut up we have one more to go through. The last one is flushed, which as far as I’m aware is the closest thing we have to human romance. I don’t really think I have don’t explain it.”

Dave didn’t say anything, just sorta looked to the side with a red tint on his face. Ah, so that was it.

“Ah so flushed? I guess that makes sense. That’s cute, I think I might be flushed for you too.”

Dave’s face just got redder and he laughed a bit.

“Well oh uh, I guess? It seems a bit uh, silly, saying it out loud.”

Karkat laughed and they sat together for a bit, the silence was nice. Karkat had known he liked Dave for a while but had been too nervous to act on it until Dave brought it up. It was a nice excuse to talk about troll romance, and he was glad that someone was listening this time. And besides, Dave was cute when he was embarrassed, Karkat was glad he was able to be the cause of that.

“Well, that’s okay then, we can be flushed if you want.”

Dave turned his head back to face Karkat, a still visible tint on his face. He smiled a bit but there was something else in the back of his mind.

“I um, I don’t think I’m really ready for a relationship right now? I mean I just sort of figured out my feelings? And I don’t wanna rush into anything I’m not really ready for? I guess? Sorry dude I just wanna make sure I’ve got everything sorted out with myself first? Like I’ve been thinking I hated you for the past what? Year? And so realising that I might be-”

“That I might be in love with you.” Was left out. That was probably too much of a jump for just figuring out he even liked Karkat.

“That I might like you. Let alone in a romantic way. So I guess uh, yeah? I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right now but uh, when I am I can let you know? And we don’t even have to wait after that we could just go straight into a relationship? I dunno it’s probably stupid if you don’t wanna wait we can uh, date now I guess? I don’t want you to wait just because I’m uncomfortable?”

“Dave. Listen to me. I’m perfectly fine with what you want, okay? We can wait as long as you want, even if it’s 10 years, I’m okay with waiting until you’re ready alright? You shouldn’t force yourself to be in a relationship with me if you aren’t comfortable yet.”

Karkat grabbed Daves face with both hands and gave him a comforting but stern squeeze as he spoke, making sure that Dave knew he was serious. Dave smiled at him and he smiled back, yeah, this was going to be okay.

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s okay. Thanks for uh, giving me time to figure things out? I don’t think it’ll be 10 years, maybe a few months? 2 years at max? I dunno, it just depends I guess. But I promise I’ll tell you as soon as I’m ready okay? And we’ll be the happiest, gayest couple on this fuckin meteor. Not even Rose and Kanaya can beat us. We’re gonna get gay married and have gay little babies and gonna be the happiest fucking people on this bitch.”

Karkat laughed and moved to touch Dave’s hand, the little bit of intimacy rushing through Dave’s veins.

“I think we can plan our wedding and kids later, we have time Dave. You are literally a knight of time, we have all the time in the world to figure this out.”

“I know, just thinking about the possibilities.”

“You’re cute. Also, what the fuck does gay mean? You say it a lot but I still have absolutely no fucking idea what you mean. Please, fill me in.”

Dave laughed, his laugh was very pretty in Karkats humble opinion.

“It’s like uh. When two guys (or girls in Roses case?) like each other? Romantically? And it’s sort of taboo on earth? Or well used to be I guess. People don’t really like us, I really don’t understand it. But yeah! We’re gonna be so gay everyone on earth will hate us but we’re just gonna laugh at them and get gayer. Nobody can stop us anymore. Gayest gays in the universe.”


End file.
